I have lead in my bones!


IMG_5254 1
Not my drug of choice!


Four days later

I didn’t think things would change so quickly.  I was feeling so good when I got home from Darwin.

A few friends came by to say hello.  I felt spaced out but ok – and then — I woke up on Day 3 and felt like I had lead in my bones.  My body was so heavy I could barely move.  My mouth was raw, as if burnt by hot coffee and everything tasted like metal. I slept and slept and slept.  Fourteen hours overnight.  Crawled on to the lounge and slept.  My ribcage ached and I was struggling with getting my bowels sorted…all the things that I had read in the literature, and thought, would not happen to me, started to close in! Panicing a bit – most of the people that I have spoken to going through chemo say they have good days and bad days.

I haven’t really comprehended bad days because I have never been sick.
24 hours ago I felt like I was never going to surface from the haze. totally spaced out and disorientated I wondered if my life would ever be the same again.

Saturday 27 April – 4 days later
Last night I lay in bed listening to the Roy Orbison Tribute Show wafting across the full moon night from the Golf Club into my bedroom and watched the Facebook posts come up of what my friends were up to around town. I wondered if I would ever have the energy again to even get out the door.

Woke up with the heavy feeling in my bones again but with a much clearer mind. I re read the literature given to me by the oncologist and it said just to take Panadol for aching joints and bones. So simple really – and it worked!

I know it is important to keep moving so I vacuumed and mopped through the house. Took me double the time and I fell back on the lounge and slept for another 2 hours whilst also trying to listen/watch a speech by Australian of the Year Ita Buttrose on ABC 24, speaking about aging and disability in Australia! I awake at the end, missed most of it, and realise I fit all the categories.
I then crawl back into bed and read my book for about 15 minutes – and awake 2 hours later, about 4.30pm.

My mouth is still sore and my bones are heavy, but feeling much better so I update my BLOG, potter, tidy up and hand water plants. Mum comes by – we talk Cancer, politics, paedophiles and neglect and child abuse of Aboriginal children.

9.30 pm A couple of glasses of champagne with my friend Suzie from down the road, Shaun watching football on TV, and Django the Lionheart, black cat in residence chasing an imaginary insect around the lounge.
Poached eggs and ice cream for dinner.
I am feeling a million dollars compared to yesterday!


2 responses »

  1. Toni I have followed your journey from your first blog post – such a strong, strong woman – the big C doesnt know what its in for!!!! Your an inspiration in the way you handle and view things x

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